Saturday, April 8, 2023

The Day Daddy's Heart Stopped

 

March 8 – The Day Daddy was rushed to the ER

While I was conducting an online class at 7am, I missed a couple of calls from my mom and sister. Kinutuban na ako at biglang kinabahan. A few minutes later, I got a message from my sister that they were bringing Daddy to the hospital because he was having trouble breathing.


An hour later, I spoke to my mom on the phone; I heard her crying and my heart almost beat out of my chest when Mama said, “Umuwi ka dito, please.” I knew things were getting worse. I leapt out of my seat, and left my team at my client’s office and traveled home to Lipa.


Little did everyone know that Daddy had suffered a heart attack and his lungs were severely congested and filled with fluid – which was why he couldn’t breathe well.


When I got to the hospital ER, Daddy had an oxygen mask on, was grumpy, and breathing a bit heavily. Apparently, the doctors at the ER gave him a diuretic, but he turned out to be severely allergic to it and he suffered another attack. Thank goodness the doctors were able to get things under control and stabilized him. It wasn’t their fault; allergic reaction to Furosemide was rare, although they could have tested him since he was evidently exhibiting signs of allergic reaction.

A few minutes later, the doctor approach Mama and me and told us that Daddy had suffered a heart attack, that fluid was filling up in his lungs, and that he might have clots in his heart that caused the heart attack. In order to confirm the diagnosis and fix his heart, the doctors advised that Daddy be confined at the Coronary Care Unit of the Mediatrix Heart Institute. There they could closely monitor him and his heart, and perform angiogram and angioplasty if necessary.

 


Telling Daddy that he needed to go through the procedure was a problem in itself since he detested needles and hospitals, but telling him that visitors weren’t allowed in the CCU was a totally different story. You see Mama and Daddy are rarely apart, and Daddy surely would be upset if he knew Mama or anyone of us wouldn’t be able to visit him inside. It wasn’t easy but we finally were able to convince him to get himself admitted and go through an angiogram. We walked him all the way to the doors of the CCU and kissed him before they brought him inside. We were told patients usually stay in there for 24-48 hours – he ended up staying there for 192.

Mama never left the hospital in the eight days Daddy was in the CCU. She camped outside the CCU doors and did nothing but pray everyday the entire week.

This was the corner that Mama had made into her own space; this was where we received visitors, where she had breakfast, lunch, and dinner. For eight days, this was her receiving room, dining room, and bedroom. Di na alintana ang daang-daang taong dumaan sa hallway.


Even though we weren’t allowed inside the CCU, we kept in touch with Daddy via videocall. My brother who also worked in the hospital was the only one allowed in. We called Daddy from time to time to comfort him and check on him. Init ni ulo ni Dad at gutom na daw siya.

 


March 9 – The Day Daddy’s Heart Stopped

The doctors were getting him ready with medications and tests, and finally, it was 3PM; time for his angiogram. One of the nurses informed us that the procedure was starting and that we would be called shortly by the doctors for them to explain the state of Daddy’s heart. Mama and I grabbed our rosaries and started praying with all our hearts.

 


No less than thirty minutes later, Dr. Ramos calls us in and shows us a video of Daddy’s heart blood vessels, beating in time with his heart. The bad news, there were three clots; the good news, they can dissolve the two clots with stents, and try dissolving the third with medications. Dr. Ramos showed us the three clots; one of which was obviously the biggest and causing Daddy the most problem. They ushered Mama and me out of the room and informed us that they were about to start Angioplasty - a procedure where balloons or stents are placed inside blood vessels to dissolve blood clots and de-clog blood vessels.


A few minutes later, we were called back by the doctor. We were confused seeing the doctor out of the CCU; surely the procedure wasn't done yet. He approached us and told us that they were able to successfully remove the first big clot, but as they were starting to remove the second one, Daddy starting scratching himself, started fidgeting, and then his BP started to drop. He was having an allergic reaction to the contrast being used in the procedure! The last thing the doctor said before he rushed back into the OR was, “We’re stabilizing him.”

 

After another set of minutes which felt like a lifetime, I was called inside by one of the nurses and she said the words a daughter must never hear, “Tumigil po ang puso ng Daddy niyo. Si-ni-CPR po siya ngayon.” Your dad's heart stopped. They're performing CPR on him right now.

And at that moment, I felt my own heart stop too.

*stay tuned for part 2*

Monday, June 17, 2019

"Call Center Lang" - Alam mo ba?

I am more than "call center lang"

So many people look down on people who work and have worked in the BPO. I worked in the BPO from 2006 to 2015.

Recently, I made a decision that was dismissed kasi "call center lang" ako.

Taglish na lang para maintindihan ng lahat.

I am more than "call center lang". I am a Registered Nurse. I am a trainer. I am a speaker. I am a business owner. I am a wife. I am a sister. I am a daughter.

I am a Registered Nurse. Hindi man ako nakapag-trabaho sa ospital but you do not know what I had to go through to pass the board exam and EARN my license.

Nag-aral ako ng apat na taon, nakapag-duty sa iba't ibang ospital sa Kalakhang Maynila, Bulacan, at Cavite, nag-review, nag-exam, naka-pasa sa board exam.

Alam mo bang mula sa mahigit 3,000 na estudyante mula nung 1st year sa college ay wala pa kaming isang libo ang grumaduate, at nakasungkit pa ako ng bronze medal?

Alam mo bang 94% ang pass rate ng FEU Institute of Nursing?

Alam mo ba kung ilang gabi akong hindi natulog para lang masa-ulo ang bwakanang Anatomy and Phisiology, Chemistry, Pharmacology, Microbiology, Infectious Diseases, Parasitology, Community Health, Psychology, Nutrition, Statistics, Physics, Medical and Surgical Nursing, Maternal and Child Nursing, Sociology, at Nursing Research - pati na yang pag-gawa ng wall-to-ceiling na Nursing Care Plans na nakalagay pa sa manila papers na i-p-present mo sa mga instructors? (Wala pang gumagamit ng MS PPT noong panahon ko; acetate pa nga ang gamit ng prof ko sa Cardio e)

Bukod sa pag-aaral, alam mo ba ang stress na dinanas ko sa mga practical exams tulad ng moving exams, revalida, practice demo, injection, blood tests, palpation, percussion - kung saan pinag-praktisan namin ng mga classmate ko ang isa't isa?

Alam mo ba na nakapag-duty ako sa lahat ng wards sa ospital? Sa Pediatrics, Geriatrics, Obstetrics, National Center for Mental Health Pavillion 9, Emergency Room, Operating Room, Delivery Room, Recovery Room, Medical Ward, at iba pa?

Alam mo ba ang pakiramdam mag-alaga sa mga may sakit sa buto, utak, atay, puso, bato, baga, paa, tuhod, balikat, at ulo?

Alam mo ba ang pakiramdam na mag assist sa doctor magpa-anak? Alam mo ba ang pakiramdam na mag-assist sa doctor sa Operating Room para mag opera sa utak, ugat, buto, at kung ano ano pa?

Alam mo ba ang pakiramdam na mag trabaho sa Emergency Room at mag asikaso ng mga pasyente na nasagasaan, naaksidente, inatake sa puso, labas ang buto or bituka, o naka-lunok ng limang piso?

Alam mo ba ang pakiramdam na mag-linis ng suka, tae, ihi, apdo, at dugo ng hindi mo ka-ano-ano?

Alam mo ba ang pakiramdam na yakapin at magpatahan ng mga nahihirapan dahil sa sakit o dahil namatayan?

Alam mo ba ang pakiramdam ng namatayan ng pasyente na lubos mong inalagaan at napalapit na sa puso mo?

Alam mo ba kung ilang oras nag hintay ang magulang ko sa ground floor ng University of the East habang nag iintay silang matapos ako sa board exam?

Alam mo bang na-aksidente pa si Daddy at hinampas ng PVC pipe at pumutok ang kilay sa Recto habang iniintay niya ako?

Alam mo ba ang pakiramdam na mababaliw ka na sa pag iintay ng results kung pumasa ka sa board exam?

Alam mo ba ang pakiramdam ng isang tao sa unang pagkakataon na makuha ang PRC license?

Alam mo ang lahat ng sinakripisyo ng magulang ko para magawa ko ang lahat ng ito?

Alam mo ba na halos mabaon kami sa utang para lang makatapos ako?

Alam mo ba na hanggang Bulacan ay hatid sundo pa ako ng Daddy? Alam mo ba na sumasabay si Mama sa pag pupuyat ko at pinag titimpla pa ako ng Milo sa madaling araw habang nag-aaral ako?

Alam mo ba kung ilang isda, karne, gulay, blanket, gamot, at dental chair ang binenta ng magulang ko, mapag-aral lang ako?

Alam mo ba kung ilang daang libo na ang nai-loan ng Daddy ko sa Philippine Air Force mapag-aral lang kaming tatlong magkakapatid sa college?

Alam mo ba ang ligaya ng magulang ko nung napagtapos nila ako; lalo na nung nalaman nila na may nurse na sila?

Kaya huwag mong sasabihin na call center lang ako. Because you do not know the hell I and my parents went through to get to where I am.

I am more than "call center lang". Kung hindi ako nag-umpisa sa call center, wala ako kung anong meron ako ngayon.

I am more than "call center lang". I am a Registered Nurse. I am a trainer. I am a business owner. I am a wife. I am a sister. I am a daughter.
Malamang nagtatanong ka, kung RN ka, bakit ka nag call center?

Wait ka lang. Next post na.

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Mahal Naman Talaga Kita, Lola.



Yesterday in my talk I told them about you, Lola. How I asked for your help nung muntik na kaming mahuli sa ParaƱaque last Thursday; o nung munitk na kaming ma-late nung Friday. I told them that I talk to you more often now; that I ask for your help in praying to God since you're literally closer to Him now. You can finally see what I do, Lola. I hope you're proud of me.


Growing up, I never felt like I belonged anywhere. My brother was an only boy who would always play outside, and my sister was the girly-girl playing with dolls and clothes with her friends. My cousins were either too old or too young for me to play with. Most of the time, I was pretty much left alone to entertain myself - usually with my nose blissfully buried in the pages of a book.





Growing up, I was never anyone's favorite. In the summer, my brother would enjoy the attention from my paternal grandmother, and my sister would bask in the love of my maternal grandmother. And I was perfectly fine with that - I never needed to be anyone's favorite. I just needed to be loved and wanted people to love. I knew my Lola loved me - and that was more than enough. 


Among all of my cousins I am probably the one who had spent the least amount of time with her. A person even mentioned I didn't belong. That's fine. I never asked to be. I never felt like I did, anyway. 


Growing up in Manila, I only saw her on vacations or when the family would visit her in Batangas. My sister, on the other hand, was one of her favorites. Si Lola ang laging kakampi ni Ate pag magka-away sila ni Mama. Si aming tatlong magkakapatid, si Ate ang mas madalas sumasama o nag-aalaga kay Lola. My sister is lucky to have experienced Lola. She would spend so much time with her; minsan dun pa siya matutulog sa tabi ni Lola. Si Lola naman, laging inaalala si Ate. Iba ang relationship nila. But I was never jealous; I knew Lola loved every one of us in her own way. I remember she had a collection of mugs in different shapes, colors, and sizes. When I asked her about the mugs, she said each mug represented a grandchild of hers.

When I was young, Lola lived with my mom's sister's family. When they had to move out of the house, she lived with my Ninang Anie and my two other cousins. After a number of years, she lived with another aunt and my four other cousins. My other cousin lived in the same area so she got to see Lola quite often too. I'm happy that Lola got to enjoy time with my cousins. It was unfortunate that my family did not enjoy the same amount of time with her. We spent most of our time in Manila and when we came home, our house was too far from the comforts of the city. When I started building my career, I lived in Manila and would visit my mom on weekends. Sometimes, I would visit Lola; most of the time I wasn't able to. I regret that now. In my travels I would always bring a pasalubong back for her - be it food, bag, or clothes. She would always be in my mind - I just wish I told her more often; and that I spent more time with her.


When I introduced Kelvin to her, she loved him at first sight. From then on, pag nakikita niya ako, si Kelvin ang hanap agad - kahit di pa kami kasal. I would playfuly remind her at times that I was her grandchild and not Kelvin. 





I wished I had spent more time with her. I focused too much of my attention to my mom and dad that sometimes I would fail to visit her. I lived by my Mama's phone updates as to how Lola was, but I wish I came to see her more often. I loved her and thought of her all the time. I loved her in my own way, and she loved me in hers. I may not have spent as much time with her as the others did but it didn't mean that I loved her any less. 


Thank you for understanding me, Lola. Thank you for all your advice. Thank you for teaching me the easiest way to cook adobo. Thank you for teaching me how to iron my clothes. Thank you for always telling me to use my "coconut shell". Thank you for loving Kelvin. Nung nasa ospital ka, buti pa kay Kelvin nagpayakap ka pa! You were yelling adamantly in your matriarchal voice, "Hug! Hug!" 





Thank you for letting me take care of you even for a very short while. I never got that chance, and that's my fault. Thank you for letting me hold your hand; and thank you for holding my hand. Thank you for letting me hold you as Ninang Anie or Mama fed you. Thank you for leaning on my shoulder as you rest between spoonfuls of food. Thank you for rubbing your cheek against mine as I hugged you from behind. You couldn't talk clearly or as fast as you wanted but that's okay, Lola, I perfectly understood. 


I know I promised to take you to the cathedral - I'm sorry I wasn't able to fulfill that promise, Lola. Gusto mo pa sana pumasyal kaso hindi na natuloy. Hinanap mo pa ang sasakyan namin at gusto mong mamasyal, kaso di na ulit natuloy. Sorry, Lola.


I'm sorry I was never there for you, Lola. I did what I could, but I know I could have done more. You deserved more.


Iniisip ko na lang at least ngayon mas nakakausap na kita. Para akong tanga minsan, kinakausap kita out loud, showing you the places I go to, and the things I do. Dito na lang ako bumabawi. Masakit lang kasi huli na ang lahat; wala ka na. Sorry, Lola. 


Pero, promise, mahal naman talaga kita.




Saturday, June 24, 2017

Baguio 2017: The Hill Station Experience

June 23, 2017

Whenever one mentions Baguio, Hill Station is never far behind. One can never have a complete Baguio experience without the great food and great ambiance that the casual fine dining restaurant offers. Hill Station prides itself for being one of the top restaurants in Baguio and was awarded as one of Asia’s Finest Restaurants by the Miele Guide in 2011-2013.

It’s my third day here in the beautiful city of Baguio and I just completed a two-day training session. One of my favorite perks of my job is having the opportunity to do what I love to do for a living and travel occasionally to experience different cultures, climate, people, view, and food. I have been requested to travel to Baguio on a business trip where I conducted an Effective Communication and Effective Presentation Skills Training program for a power generation company. Today was the last day of training and since tomorrow happens to be my birthday, The Husband decided to join me here so we can celebrate early and I wouldn’t have to wake up alone on my birthday.



The Husband and I decided to dine at Hill Station to celebrate my birthday. I have heard great stories about the food and ambiance; and The Husband and I were all too excited to get a taste of the Hill Station experience.

I made sure to call ahead and make a reservation for two at 8PM under The Husband’s name. He went in first because I was busy browsing and smelling the books displayed in Mt. Cloud Bookshop. After buying a book, I joined him at the restaurant.

When I stepped inside the restaurant, all members of the staff were busy so no one was around to receive me and point me to where my date was. I went straight into the restaurant and looked for The Husband myself. He was seated at a table in the corner of the restaurant.

Since it was our first time at the restaurant, we took our sweet time reviewing the menu before calling a waitress to place our order. We ordered Prawns Peri Peri, Steak and Salmon, and two glasses of white house wines. For dessert, we ordered their Cheesecake flan and dark chocolate ice cream.



The place
I love that the place is located in the heart of the city, a stone’s throw away from SM City Baguio. Once I stepped into the restaurant, I felt that I was transported into the time when it was built by the Americans, providing a respite away from the noise and bustle of the city that is Makati. I felt that it was a place where you could just sit by the window, stare out of its gigantic panels, and watch the day go by as you sip your wine or coffee. I wanted a romantic dinner date feel and we certainly got it. We were seated at the corner of the restaurant, right by the window. We loved that the corner provided us a romantic, private feel – an experience that a table in the middle of the restaurant surely will be unable to provide. Because it was past eight in the evening, the dark romantic ambiance and the chilly weather was just perfect setting for a romantic birthday dinner date. If there was anything that did not meet my expectations, it was the restroom. It was plain and boring, and was not as classy as the rest of the place. The restroom was a tiny cubicle that could fit one person as the wash area is located about two feet away.

The Food


Prawns Peri Peri, Php595.00
According to the menu: Broiled prawns, oozing with butter, chillies, and lemons
What we got: 3 broiled prawns on a bed of mashed potatoes with butter sauce, zucchini, lime, and spring onion. I asked them to hold the chili and paprika as I don’t eat spicy food. The prawns were nice and fresh, deliciously broiled with the right amount of saltiness. They were a bit dry for me and they definitely weren't oozing with butter. I also wished they put more than three prawns. The presentation can also be better.



Steak and Salmon Php550.00 (sorry no picture)
According to the menu: (steak and salmon with) mashed potato, seasonal vegetables
What we got: a nice piece of salmon and a piece of juicy steak on top of mashed potatoes and zucchini. According to The Husband, he loved the steak. It was nice, flavorful, and juicy. The salmon, on the other hand, tasted good too, albeit a little dry.
White house wines:


Acantus Savignon Blanc (Spain), Php195.00 by the glass
Caracter Chardonnay/Cherin (Argentina) Php195.00 by the glass
Those were the only wines they offered that go by the bottle. The Husband and I don’t drink wine often so we just opted to go with their house wine. They were good! Nice and smooth.
For dessert, we ordered:



Flan de Sevilla or Cheesecake flan, Php130.00
I’ve always loved cheesecake and leche flan so this combination was a winning pair for me. The cheesecake was nice and creamy, just the way I like it, and not clunky or grainy. I love that they drizzled some caramel sauce on the side, it just makes sugar junkies like me take one bite after another after another! If there's one thing that I can suggest, they can make the presentation better as it looks like the caramel was just dumped onto the plate without care. Here's another picture from another angle.





Dark Chocolate ice cream with Cayenne P115.00
The Husband chose this for himself and him loving this dessert is an understatement. It was a bowl with two scoops of lightly sweetened ice cream with a strong bitter dark chocolatey-taste. You can taste the real/pure cocoa unlike those sold in the supermarket. The ice cream was phenomenal, but it could have used more cayenne pepper to really spice the ice cream up.

The service
The food was great but the service could be better. Firstly, their telephone manners can be improved. There was a nice greeting but they can sound more enthusiastic. When I asked if I could make a reservation, I was put on hold without my permission and the lady didn’t speak quite clearly, I wasn’t sure what she said so I when I spoke again, I realized she had placed me on hold as no one was answering me. I then made a reservation and then when I asked if there was a dress code, she simply said, “Smart casual.” I felt that she was a bit dismissive.

Secondly, in the restaurant, I soon found out it was not just the lady at the telephone that was dismissive. The waitresses were quite dismissive as well. Being at the corner table, it was a bit difficult to catch their attention. We were thinking of what to order and this waitress just stood there waiting, not recommending anything and not even smiling. 




We ordered Prawn Peri Peri and Steak and Salmon and then was thinking of what drinks to order. The waitress, seeing as we have not made up our minds yet as to what drinks to pair our food with, informed us stiffly that she’d come back once we’ve decided on our drinks. I swear that lady could use a bit of a smile!

After the main course, The Husband asked for the dessert menu not realizing it was just right on our table. When The Husband requested for the dessert menu, all the waitress did was to point to the dessert list placed on top of table, didn't say a single word, and walked away. No smile, no words. See? Dismissive.

After dinner and dessert, we decided not to stay longer, paid the bill, and left.

Final verdict:

The Place: 5 out of 5 stars
The place certainly did not disappoint. It was impeccably clean, romantic, and classy. It was as breathtaking in reality as it was in the pictures.

The Food: 4 out of 5 stars
The food was good. Was the food better than most? Definitely. But was it remarkable? Unfortunately not. The taste and presentation can be improved.

The Service: 2.5 of 5 stars
As for the service, the staff can be friendlier, can smile more, maybe strike up a conversation to personalize their customer’s Hill Station experience, and read up on service language. Sayang. (Note: Had they been not a fine dining restaurant, I would have given them at least a 3. Or maybe my expectations were set too high?)

There are hundreds of restaurants in Baguio and most of them, like Hill Station, boasts of impressive interiors, view, and food. What sets a restaurant apart from the other restaurants is the overall experience of a customer. Remember that it is the place and the food that attract customers, but it is the service and experience that will make the customers come back.


Will we come back? Definitely.

Try the Hill Station experience:

For Reservations:
(+63 74) 424 2734 
(+63) 915 829 2166
info@hillstationbaguio.com
Casa Vallejo, Upper Session Rd, Baguio, 2600 Benguet
(074) 424 2734

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Saturday, February 11, 2017

87 Thoughts That Run Though My Mind While Doing Yoga

I have not practiced yoga in more than a year and I've finally had the courage and time to do it. Since I got married, I have been making excuses and have not done anything to keep my body fit.

Last Tuesday The Husband had a basketball game and I've finally decided to start doing yoga again by enrolling at Yoga+express Legazpi.

In just 60 minutes, eighty-seven thoughts ran through my head. If at anytime in your life you've done yoga, read through the list and please tell me I'm normal.



  1. Should I go in or am I too early?
  2. OMG there are so many people, where do I put my mat?
  3. Did I pull my mat to close to that girl?
  4. Do my feet smell bad?
  5. Don’t fart.
  6. What do I eat after this?
  7. Did I drink enough water before working out?
  8. Do I have to pee?
  9. Don’t faint. Don’t pass out.
  10. Concentrate.
  11. What are the others doing?
  12. Am I doing this right?
  13. Am I doing the same thing as the others are doing?
  14. Ouch.
  15. Ow. Damn!
  16. Oh, Jesus.
  17. Breathe. Breathe.
  18. Don’t hold your breath.
  19. Don’t throw up. Don’t throw up. 
  20. How many minutes do I have left in this bloody class?!
  21. Why am I doing this to myself?!
  22. Focus on my practice. Don’t think about anything else.
  23. Have a set that email that I was meaning to?
  24. I should buy more sports bra.
  25. Oh this girl’s yoga pants are cute. I’ve got to get me one of those?
  26. I wonder where she got those?
  27. Focus! Breathe!
  28. Downward facing dog… Oh yeah I can do this!
  29. Wait, am I getting lightheaded?
  30. Oh no my body is starting to shake.
  31. How much longer do I have to keep this pose?
  32. Should I have brought my phone inside?
  33. Did I turn off my data?
  34. Oh right. Focus.
  35. Do they call doing yoga working out? Or practicing?
  36. The teacher said “bend down and let the top of your head touch the mat”. In what universe is that ever going to happen to me?!
  37. That guy could reach his toes?! What the hell?!
  38. Show off!
  39. Touch my what?!
  40. Breathe. Breathe.
  41. Is my butt crack showing?
  42. Ugh. My tummy is in the way.
  43. God, please don’t make me fall over.
  44. Is that girl wearing makeup?
  45. Why am I sweating so much?!
  46. Does the room have to be this hot?
  47. Am I inhaling people’s breaths?
  48. My back hurts. 
  49. My shoulders hurt.
  50. My thighs hurt.
  51. My legs hurt.
  52. My feet hurt.
  53. My hamstrings hurt.
  54. Everything hurts.
  55. Why am I doing this again?!
  56. Why is she so flexible?! I can’t even touch my damn toes!
  57. Can I just go back to the child’s pose?
  58. Even the mountain pose is painful.
  59. I am soo out of shape.
  60. This is hopeless.
  61. I can't do it!
  62. I'm dying. Tell my Mama I love her!
  63. Is it normal to feel pain there?
  64. Hold this pose. Hold this pose! I can do this!
  65. Is my foot supposed to be digging too deep into my thigh? It hurts.
  66. I should make my standing leg stronger.
  67. Does my tummy look big in this pose?
  68. Twist and look at my elbow? How?
  69. Can’t even do a plank. Pathetic.
  70. Finally. The Shavasana.
  71. Shavasana is definitely my favorite yoga pose. I could do this all day.
  72. Uh oh the teacher turned the lights off.
  73. Don’t fall asleep. 
  74. I feel lightheaded.
  75. Don’t thrown up.
  76. Don’t die.
  77. Breathe.
  78. Close your mouth. Breathe through the nose.
  79. It’s over?
  80. Oh my God, I survived!
  81. I lived through a yoga class!
  82. I’m a badass.
  83. Look at me making healthy choices!
  84. I feel great!
  85. Nothing hurts anymore!
  86. I should do this more often!
  87. I can’t wait for my next class.



Tell me I'm normal(ish)! Do you think these too?

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