"Call Center Lang" - Alam mo ba?

I am more than "call center lang"

So many people look down on people who work and have worked in the BPO. I worked in the BPO from 2006 to 2015.

Recently, I made a decision that was dismissed kasi "call center lang" ako.

Taglish na lang para maintindihan ng lahat.

I am more than "call center lang". I am a Registered Nurse. I am a trainer. I am a speaker. I am a business owner. I am a wife. I am a sister. I am a daughter.

I am a Registered Nurse. Hindi man ako nakapag-trabaho sa ospital but you do not know what I had to go through to pass the board exam and EARN my license.

Nag-aral ako ng apat na taon, nakapag-duty sa iba't ibang ospital sa Kalakhang Maynila, Bulacan, at Cavite, nag-review, nag-exam, naka-pasa sa board exam.

Alam mo bang mula sa mahigit 3,000 na estudyante mula nung 1st year sa college ay wala pa kaming isang libo ang grumaduate, at nakasungkit pa ako ng bronze medal?

Alam mo bang 94% ang pass rate ng FEU Institute of Nursing?

Alam mo ba kung ilang gabi akong hindi natulog para lang masa-ulo ang bwakanang Anatomy and Phisiology, Chemistry, Pharmacology, Microbiology, Infectious Diseases, Parasitology, Community Health, Psychology, Nutrition, Statistics, Physics, Medical and Surgical Nursing, Maternal and Child Nursing, Sociology, at Nursing Research - pati na yang pag-gawa ng wall-to-ceiling na Nursing Care Plans na nakalagay pa sa manila papers na i-p-present mo sa mga instructors? (Wala pang gumagamit ng MS PPT noong panahon ko; acetate pa nga ang gamit ng prof ko sa Cardio e)

Bukod sa pag-aaral, alam mo ba ang stress na dinanas ko sa mga practical exams tulad ng moving exams, revalida, practice demo, injection, blood tests, palpation, percussion - kung saan pinag-praktisan namin ng mga classmate ko ang isa't isa?

Alam mo ba na nakapag-duty ako sa lahat ng wards sa ospital? Sa Pediatrics, Geriatrics, Obstetrics, National Center for Mental Health Pavillion 9, Emergency Room, Operating Room, Delivery Room, Recovery Room, Medical Ward, at iba pa?

Alam mo ba ang pakiramdam mag-alaga sa mga may sakit sa buto, utak, atay, puso, bato, baga, paa, tuhod, balikat, at ulo?

Alam mo ba ang pakiramdam na mag assist sa doctor magpa-anak? Alam mo ba ang pakiramdam na mag-assist sa doctor sa Operating Room para mag opera sa utak, ugat, buto, at kung ano ano pa?

Alam mo ba ang pakiramdam na mag trabaho sa Emergency Room at mag asikaso ng mga pasyente na nasagasaan, naaksidente, inatake sa puso, labas ang buto or bituka, o naka-lunok ng limang piso?

Alam mo ba ang pakiramdam na mag-linis ng suka, tae, ihi, apdo, at dugo ng hindi mo ka-ano-ano?

Alam mo ba ang pakiramdam na yakapin at magpatahan ng mga nahihirapan dahil sa sakit o dahil namatayan?

Alam mo ba ang pakiramdam ng namatayan ng pasyente na lubos mong inalagaan at napalapit na sa puso mo?

Alam mo ba kung ilang oras nag hintay ang magulang ko sa ground floor ng University of the East habang nag iintay silang matapos ako sa board exam?

Alam mo bang na-aksidente pa si Daddy at hinampas ng PVC pipe at pumutok ang kilay sa Recto habang iniintay niya ako?

Alam mo ba ang pakiramdam na mababaliw ka na sa pag iintay ng results kung pumasa ka sa board exam?

Alam mo ba ang pakiramdam ng isang tao sa unang pagkakataon na makuha ang PRC license?

Alam mo ang lahat ng sinakripisyo ng magulang ko para magawa ko ang lahat ng ito?

Alam mo ba na halos mabaon kami sa utang para lang makatapos ako?

Alam mo ba na hanggang Bulacan ay hatid sundo pa ako ng Daddy? Alam mo ba na sumasabay si Mama sa pag pupuyat ko at pinag titimpla pa ako ng Milo sa madaling araw habang nag-aaral ako?

Alam mo ba kung ilang isda, karne, gulay, blanket, gamot, at dental chair ang binenta ng magulang ko, mapag-aral lang ako?

Alam mo ba kung ilang daang libo na ang nai-loan ng Daddy ko sa Philippine Air Force mapag-aral lang kaming tatlong magkakapatid sa college?

Alam mo ba ang ligaya ng magulang ko nung napagtapos nila ako; lalo na nung nalaman nila na may nurse na sila?

Kaya huwag mong sasabihin na call center lang ako. Because you do not know the hell I and my parents went through to get to where I am.

I am more than "call center lang". Kung hindi ako nag-umpisa sa call center, wala ako kung anong meron ako ngayon.

I am more than "call center lang". I am a Registered Nurse. I am a trainer. I am a business owner. I am a wife. I am a sister. I am a daughter.

Malamang nagtatanong ka, kung RN ka, bakit ka nag call center?

Wait ka lang. Next post na.

Mahal Naman Talaga Kita, Lola.

Yesterday in my talk I told them about you, Lola. How I asked for your help nung muntik na kaming mahuli sa Parañaque last Thursday; o nung munitk na kaming ma-late nung Friday. I told them that I talk to you more often now; that I ask for your help in praying to God since you're literally closer to Him now. You can finally see what I do, Lola. I hope you're proud of me.

Growing up, I never felt like I belonged anywhere. My brother was an only boy who would always play outside, and my sister was the girly-girl playing with dolls and clothes with her friends. My cousins were either too old or too young for me to play with. Most of the time, I was pretty much left alone to entertain myself - usually with my nose blissfully buried in the pages of a book.

Growing up, I was never anyone's favorite. In the summer, my brother would enjoy the attention from my paternal grandmother, and my sister would bask in the love of my maternal grandmother. And I was perfectly fine with that - I never needed to be anyone's favorite. I just needed to be loved and wanted people to love. I knew my Lola loved me - and that was more than enough. 

Among all of my cousins I am probably the one who had spent the least amount of time with her. A person even mentioned I didn't belong. That's fine. I never asked to be. I never felt like I did, anyway. 

Growing up in Manila, I only saw her on vacations or when the family would visit her in Batangas. My sister, on the other hand, was one of her favorites. Si Lola ang laging kakampi ni Ate pag magka-away sila ni Mama. Si aming tatlong magkakapatid, si Ate ang mas madalas sumasama o nag-aalaga kay Lola. My sister is lucky to have experienced Lola. She would spend so much time with her; minsan dun pa siya matutulog sa tabi ni Lola. Si Lola naman, laging inaalala si Ate. Iba ang relationship nila. But I was never jealous; I knew Lola loved every one of us in her own way. I remember she had a collection of mugs in different shapes, colors, and sizes. When I asked her about the mugs, she said each mug represented a grandchild of hers.

When I was young, Lola lived with my mom's sister's family. When they had to move out of the house, she lived with my Ninang Anie and my two other cousins. After a number of years, she lived with another aunt and my four other cousins. My other cousin lived in the same area so she got to see Lola quite often too. I'm happy that Lola got to enjoy time with my cousins. It was unfortunate that my family did not enjoy the same amount of time with her. We spent most of our time in Manila and when we came home, our house was too far from the comforts of the city. When I started building my career, I lived in Manila and would visit my mom on weekends. Sometimes, I would visit Lola; most of the time I wasn't able to. I regret that now. In my travels I would always bring a pasalubong back for her - be it food, bag, or clothes. She would always be in my mind - I just wish I told her more often; and that I spent more time with her.

When I introduced Kelvin to her, she loved him at first sight. From then on, pag nakikita niya ako, si Kelvin ang hanap agad - kahit di pa kami kasal. I would playfuly remind her at times that I was her grandchild and not Kelvin. 

I wished I had spent more time with her. I focused too much of my attention to my mom and dad that sometimes I would fail to visit her. I lived by my Mama's phone updates as to how Lola was, but I wish I came to see her more often. I loved her and thought of her all the time. I loved her in my own way, and she loved me in hers. I may not have spent as much time with her as the others did but it didn't mean that I loved her any less. 

Thank you for understanding me, Lola. Thank you for all your advice. Thank you for teaching me the easiest way to cook adobo. Thank you for teaching me how to iron my clothes. Thank you for always telling me to use my "coconut shell". Thank you for loving Kelvin. Nung nasa ospital ka, buti pa kay Kelvin nagpayakap ka pa! You were yelling adamantly in your matriarchal voice, "Hug! Hug!" 

Thank you for letting me take care of you even for a very short while. I never got that chance, and that's my fault. Thank you for letting me hold your hand; and thank you for holding my hand. Thank you for letting me hold you as Ninang Anie or Mama fed you. Thank you for leaning on my shoulder as you rest between spoonfuls of food. Thank you for rubbing your cheek against mine as I hugged you from behind. You couldn't talk clearly or as fast as you wanted but that's okay, Lola, I perfectly understood. 

I know I promised to take you to the cathedral - I'm sorry I wasn't able to fulfill that promise, Lola. Gusto mo pa sana pumasyal kaso hindi na natuloy. Hinanap mo pa ang sasakyan namin at gusto mong mamasyal, kaso di na ulit natuloy. Sorry, Lola.

I'm sorry I was never there for you, Lola. I did what I could, but I know I could have done more. You deserved more.

Iniisip ko na lang at least ngayon mas nakakausap na kita. Para akong tanga minsan, kinakausap kita out loud, showing you the places I go to, and the things I do. Dito na lang ako bumabawi. Masakit lang kasi huli na ang lahat; wala ka na. Sorry, Lola. 

Pero, promise, mahal naman talaga kita.