Wednesday, September 30, 2015

What's in a name?

Last week Kelvin took me to the gym and he signed me up as his guest. As a guest I had to write down my name in the log sheet. I wrote down my first name, and then last name. I guess out of habit, I started writing the letter V, and was about to spell out the rest of my maiden name when I stopped abruptly and saw Kelvin looking at the log sheet, smiling. Oops! I guess I forgot I have a new name now. Teehee!

 Recently some friends have asked me if I have legally changed my name or when I am going to change my Facebook name from “Elliane Varias” to “Elliane Tan”. As I sit down in front of my laptop about to change my name, I didn’t realize how difficult it would be for me to change my name – even just on Facebook.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my new last name. My name is a symbol of me being married to my incredible Kelvin; that I am his forever, and that we’re building our family as one, forever. I just love it. I dreamed of marrying him and taking his name. Even before we were married in our first few years together, I would imagine using his name.

I guess what I’m saying is because the name “Elliane Laminero Varias” has been my name for the past thirty years, it is pretty difficult to let go. I guess the thought of relinquishing my name would profoundly affect how I think about my own identity.

I never realized how important my name was to me until now. You see, my name has a lot of history in it. Lamineros originated from the Visayas, specifically from Romblon, and Iloilo. My grandfather travelled to Lipa, Batangas to become a soldier, where he met my grandmother. My granddad was considered one of the brightest in the Philippine Air Force during his time. My mother is an intelligent woman, who bested her peers when she was young. She wanted to be a nurse but had to let go of her dream after her father’s demise when she was twelve. The Lamaneros in Iloilo are of great mind and educators, with a lot of my relatives being teachers and educators, including me, who happens to be a trainer.

The Varias is also a known name especially in Alfonso, Cavite. Growing up I was surprised that a lot – and I mean A LOT of people were named Varias in Alfonso. Even the mayor is a Varias – Mayor Virgilio Varias, my father’s distant cousin and also the Principal Sponsor at our wedding. You will also find the word Varias in Pedro Paterno’s book called “Sampaguitas y otras poesías varias” – the first book of poetry published by a Filipino in Europe; it means plenty or multiple. 

 My father was awarded as the rifle sharpshooter when he was still active in the Philippine Air Force, and received numerous awards in the Intelligence Division of the PAF.

 I have always taken pride in the fact that I am a Laminero-Varias. My name links me to my family, and my relatives, and my history as a person. My name is my identity, and it defines me as a person. All of my achievements and accomplishments in the last thirty years have been tagged to my name. No, I am not famous. I just take pride in my name.

But today I have decided to fully take my husband’s name. Because that is who I am now. I belong to him. I am my husband’s wife, and the mother of our future children. My husband and I are now one, therefore I choose to take his name. I choose to honor him and our family. My name may help define who I am, but I am still me even with a new name. My heritage and my history still stand. I am still my parents' daughter, and I am still a product of my history.

Our name is what binds us as a family; it is what makes us one. Like what the Bible says in Matthew 19:2-9: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh."

 I am Elliane Tan.
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