My Mask

My hand is getting tired from holding up this mask. I've been holding it up for so long, I no longer know where my face ends and where the mask starts. Why do I wear a mask you say? Because I have to. I have a reputation to maintain, after all. I have to keep this persona , you see. Day in and day out, this mask I have to put on.

What's on the mask, you ask? It's a face with a perpetual smile; one that never falters. A face that says, "It's going to be ok." A face that says, "I'll take care of it." A face that says, "No, problem." A face that says, "Don't worry about it."

Why do I put on this bloody mask, you ask? Because I've had this mask on for quite a while; and people had forgotten that it is, after all, just a mask. I wear this mask because no one else will. I wear this mask because no one else wants to.

But then there are times when I want to put this mask down. There are times when I want people to see my real face. A face that says, "I feel a little tired today. Tomorrow, perhaps?" A face that says, "Gosh, what should I do?" A face that says, "I don't know what to do." A face that says, "Will you help me?"

I can't tell you how desperate I am to take this mask off my face. I want to rip it off my face, and throw it into the sea. I want it so badly I can taste it.. Maybe I will. Maybe soon. Or never.

A Harrowing Experience

I got off from work today at 30 minutes past midnight. It was not unusual for me to travel at that time of the night. It was a productive and busy day for me and I couldn't wait to get home and rest.

I first got into a jeep that took me to Taft Avenue. After getting off, I hailed another jeep that was on its way to EDSA. A few minutes into my journey, the jeepn stopped at a small intersection. There was a Toyota Innova, sitting there right by an island. It was trying to make a u-turn but was unsuccessful due to a bus that was parked at the side of the road. 

The driver of the Innova kept on pressing on the horn trying to tell the bus to move away and let the car through. But the bus wouldn't move. After a few minutes, the passengers of the Innova came out. The driver - a man - started pounding on the bus driver's window, but nothing happened (I wasn't sure if the bus driver was inside the bus or not). When that didn't work, the man stooped down to the ground and took a big piece of rock. He slammed it over and over onto the bus's side; while his companion - a woman - was pounding her fists on the bus driver's window. 

The jeep that I was on couldn't get through since both the bus and the Innova were blocking the road. All of the passengers, including me and the driver, were just sitting there watching the scene.

I first became nervous when I saw the guy pounding that big piece of rock on the bus; I could tell that the guy was pissed off. But still nothing happened; no movement from the bus. The man suddenly turned around and went back to his car. I thought he had given up. After a few seconds, the guy came out of the car; this time he was no longer carrying a rock. He was carrying a gun.

All of a sudden the atmosphere changed. I couldn't move; I realized I was frozen with fear. The ladies in the jeep started screaming; and the others started crying. The jeepney driver seemed to come out a trance and put the vehicle in gear. Then the jeep began to move.

After two seconds, I realized that the jeep was not moving back. It was moving forward! The jeepney driver went to to other lane (counter-flowed) and went on its original course to EDSA. I started to panic; the direction that he was going was parallel to the place where the man with the gun was! 

Dozens of scenarios flashed into my head. What if the man starts shooting? What if the bus driver ends up dead? What if the bullet misses its target and ends up hitting me or one of the passengers? We were right in the gunman's line of sight. To make matters worse, when the jeepney driver took the other lane, there was another jeep blocking the way. The jeep that I was on stopped; right in front of the bus and the man with the gun.

That's when the people on the jeep lost it. They started screaming, shouting at the driver to drive away. I was startles to hear my own voice, screaming for the driver to step on the gas. The driver, who did not appear worried at all, calmly stepped on the gas and drove away. As we were speeding from the scene, I couldn't help but wait for the sounds of gunshots.

There were none. We were safe.