#LengTanSpeaks: Things you should never say to a childless married couple.

So here’s an extension of my previous blog entitled “Questions you should never ask a childless married couple.” You may read that other blog by clicking on this link.

Now what is worse from those rude and insensitive questions are even ruder (yes, ruder is a word, I just looked it up) and more insensitive remarks from friends, co-workers, relatives, or meddling neighbours. Here are some of the most ridiculous things childless women and men have heard:

Sayang ang lahi mo!
Sayang ang matris mo!
Ako naka-tatlo na!
Having children is hard work anyway.
Just relax. You’ll get pregnant before you know it. Let it happen.
Ang tagal naman!
Mag anak na kayo, hindi kayo bumabata.
You’re so lucky you get to sleep in/shop/travel.
It will happen when you stop trying.
You’re still young. Don’t worry too much!
You’re lucky you don’t have to deal with morning sickness or labor.
You better start having kids or else you might be shooting blanks!
Now that I have children, my life has true meaning!
You’re missing out on one of the best things in life.
Tick tock.
You’d better hurry up and give your husband a child before he finds someone who will.
Have a child so that someone will look after you when you’re old.
I only have three kids.
You can be a mother/father to your nieces/nephews.

People, none – and I absolutely mean NONE – of these remarks are acceptable. Whether you are a friend, a BFF, or a well meaning relative. These statements are incredibly insensitive, hurtful, and not in the least funny or helpful.

So here’s my tip for you if you are curious about your childless friend’s/cousin’s/co-worker’s plans: Do not ask or say anything unless they open up to you.

Topics such as conception, pregnancy, and miscarriage are not only uncomfortable to talk about but extremely painful and emotionally draining when talked about. Do you really want them to say “I’m having trouble having kids” or “I can’t get pregnant” or "We don't want kids yet" or “I’m sterile” or “We had a miscarriage”? And in the event they answer you with these, how would you answer them? Nothing – and I mean nothing – that you say can make them feel better.

So unless the next words that will come right out your mouth will result to conception, pregnancy, babies, a lap dance from Channing Tatum, a billion dollars, or the answer to world peace and hunger, you better keep your questions and comments to yourself.

Their bodies and their plans are their business, not yours. So back the hell off.

I swear the next time anyone asks or says anything remotely close to any of the questions and remarks on the lists, I will stare at them, say nothing, and give them a big slow clap. Then walk away.