And the surprise was successful! We pulled it off!
After the dinner, Kelvin and I couldn't wait anymore. We asked our friend to drive us to the hospital so we could claim the results, a few minutes before midnight.
Because it was late at night, there was no line and we got the results almost instantly.
I'm no doctor but it looks like my blood sugar is a little high and the cancer test looks like my numbers are within normal range.
Kelvin and I breathed a sigh of relief. Diabetes is definitely not good news but frankly I'll take a positive result for Diabetes over cancer any given day.
Friday night after work, I went back to Don Bosco Church and spoke to God again. The numbers looked good but I want all my bases covered.
Saturday morning I went back to the doctor for her to read the results. I was more than ready to hear her say my tests were negative.
I remember the moment I saw Mama and Daddy. I just wanted to run into their arms and cry. But because we were in a restaurant and they were sitting down, I walked to my dad and hugged him, he in turn hugged me back and rubbed my back. I then went to my mom and sat beside her. She dropped her spoon on the table and hugged me tightly. No words were necessary. There we were, mother and daughter. I was home in Mama's arms. My parents and my husband were with me. I'm okay.
(Mama, bless her heart, has been praying for me since she found out about the ovarian mass. She went and prayed in four churches, Our Lady of Miraculous Medal in Fernando Air Base, The Nazarene at Pangao, Lipa, Our Lady of Peace and Good Voyage in Lodlod, Lipa, and Shrine of St. Vincent Ferrer in BanayBanay, Lipa. I swear my Mama is nothing short of remarkable.)
And so we waited.
When my name was called, Mama and Kelvin went inside the clinic with me where the doctor was waiting.
The doctor's first words were, "Well, may diabetes ka. Mataas ang result. Ire-refer kita sa endocrinologist." Well, you have Diabetes. The results are high. I'll refer you to an endocrinologist.
"As for the CA125 and HE4 tests, your numbers are within normal range so that's good. Although the test is not 100% reliable."
Mama asked as to the odds of me developing cancer and the doctor said she doesn't know yet because the mass is too small.
The doctor then explained the results, of both tests. After which Mama asked, "Pero doc, yung sa cancer po, negative naman?"
The doctor replied, "Hindi 100% negative kasi there's something. (Normal range is 0-35, my values were 22.2) Masyado pa din maliit ang mass for us to detect if it's cancer. Masyado pang maliit para tanggalin, normal range naman ang blood test. Kailangan lang na i-monitor. Iultrasound ka ulit after three months." It's not 100% negative because there is still something. The mass is too small for us to detect if it is cancer. It's also too small for us to remove, after all, your blood results are within normal range. We just need to monitor it for now. You need to have another ultrasound in three months.
I couldn't keep it anymore. I started to cry again. I wanted to hear the word "negative". I wanted to hear the doctor say I don't have cancer. But she just wouldn't say it. All she could tell me was my results are within normal as of now and there is no need to worry. There is no immediate reason to worry.
When she saw me, she asked incredulously, "O bakit ka umiiyak?!" "O, why are you crying?!
Was she seriously asking me that question? In a span of four days, I went from "We'll check if it's cancer. We'll see if you have diabetes." to "You have diabetes. Your results are within normal range but it's not 100% negative."
Don't get me wrong. I am grateful and hopeful. I'm not very happy about my blood sugar but I have a feeling I won't need medication and will just have to modify my diet. I am happy and grateful that my results are within normal range. That's good news. But it would have been better if the doctor said it's negative and I don't have cancer.
After the doctor's appointment, we went to visit The Black Nazarene in Quiapo Church. God really was looking after us as there was an ongoing service and we were able to hear mass and receive communion. After the mass, Mama and I knelt at the altar, Mama told me, "Anak, sinusulit na kita sa Dyos. Alam ng Panginoon kung ano ang makakabuti sa iyo. Sya ang bahala sa iyo. Pagagalingin ka nya." My daughter, I am now entrusting you to God. The Lord knows what is good for you. He will not forsake you. He will heal you.
On Tuesday I will be seeing an endocrinologist regarding my blood sugar test results. I'm not sure what's going to happen from there but I'm very optimistic.
As for my cancer scare, I will go with what the doctor has told me, there's nothing to worry about right now, my results are within normal range, and they'll monitor the mass to make sure it doesn't grow.
On a personal note, I don't have that much confidence in the OB so I'm going back to my OB GYN in Batangas. I'll see her this coming Saturday and get her view on the test results. Let's hope she tells me what I need to hear.
For now, I'll keep on praying, the Lord loves me. Mama Mary loves me. I do not have any kind of disease. I am healthy. The Lord will give Kelvin and me beautiful children. We'll raise them to be good and God loving people, we'll make a difference in this world, we'll retire, and grow old together, and live happily ever after. That is God's plan for me.
I am claiming it.
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