In 2008 I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovaries Syndrome
(PCOS). It’s a condition where a woman’s hormones are out of balance causing
irregular menstrual periods. Even when I was younger, I wouldn’t get monthly periods.
Over the years, I’d only need sanitary pads about three to four times a year. But this time the intervals were longer. My last period was exactly a year ago. Some years ago, my OB GYN told me that the condition might make conception and pregnancy
difficult, but most PCOS cases are manageable and a good percentage of women
with PCOS have successfully gotten pregnant and given birth to beautiful
babies. Over the years I’ve gone through different medical interventions; I’ve
been prescribed, Duphaston, pills, Metphormin, etc. The condition still
persists and my doctor said I’d need to go back to her should I decide to have
babies because I will need to go through a certain therapy.
Over the past few months, The Husband and I were talking
about having babies. We’ve been married for over ten months now and decided this
was a good time to have children. Since my OB was in Batangas, I decided to
consult an OB GYN here in Manila.
So last Wednesday I walked from my office to Makati Medical Center and
booked an appointment with an OB. The OB then asked me questions about my
menstrual history, and other usual questions like history of diabetes, cancer,
and heart disease in the family. She asked me to go to the ultrasound lab so that
we can find out if I still have PCOS. Our initial
interaction was brief, no longer than 10 minutes.
10 minutes after the ultrasound, I got the results and went
back to the doctor. As I was waiting for my name to be called, I realized that
the envelope was open so I decided to take a look at the results.
I was not surprised to see “Bilateral Polycystic Ovaries” on the paper. It was something I’ve
known for a long time. My heart stopped when I saw “Consider Ovarian Fibroma, Left”
What does that mean?
I whipped out
my smartphone and Googled it. The first answer I got was, “The ovarian fibroma,
also fibroma, is a benign sex cord-stromal tumour.”
I breathed a little easier as soon as I saw the word “benign”. As I was about to read more
articles when I heard my name; it was my turn.
I stepped inside the doctor’s office and sat down.
“Meron ka pa rin polycystic ovaries, both sides. Sa left
ovary mo, may nakitang bukol. Ipapa test kita for CA125 at HE4.” You still have polycystic ovaries, both
sides. In your left ovary, there’s a solid mass. You need to be tested for CA125
at HE4.
The whole time she said those words, the doctor wasn’t
looking at me, she was looking at my test results and then looked down at her
paper writing things down. There was an awkward silence. I realized she wasn’t
about to explain what the tests were for.
So I asked, “What are those tests for, doc?”
Still while looking down at her notes, she answered, “Titingnan
natin kung cancer. Tapos reresetahan kita ng gamot para magka period ka. Inumin
mo to for seven days, then dadatnan ka in about two weeks.” We’ll check if it's cancer. Then I’ll prescribe
some medication to induce your menstrual flow. Take this for seven days, you
should get your period in two weeks.”
There I was, thirty years old, newly married, sitting inside a doctor’s clinic, going in for
a routine checkup, expecting the doctor to say I still have Polycystic Ovaries Syndrome, take some
medicine, and I’ll be fine. I’ll get pregnant, have babies, and live a long
life.
But what I got was, "We'll check if it's cancer."
Just like that. No warning, no hand on my shoulder, no pause, no eye contact, nothing to soften the blow."
I flinched and then my whole body froze. I am always prepared for every single thing except for that moment.
It was surreal. It was a scene I’ve only seen in movies and
TV shows.
I asked the doctor as to what the chances are that the mass
was malignant. Her answer was, “I don’t know. The mass is small, about 1.5cm,
and your blood needs to be tested first. Usually ovarian masses are fluid
filled but yours is solid, so let’s get you tested.”
She also said I needed to be tested for diabetes since it is
a common complication of PCOS and diabetes runs in both of my families.
And that was it. My appointment was over. I was to come back
as soon as I got the results back.
I stepped outside the clinic not knowing what to do. I was
alone. I didn’t ask The Husband to go with me since he was at work and I didn’t
know that the day would turn out like it did.
I was so scared. I have my life all planned. Get married,
have kids, raise our kids, make a difference in the world, retire and grow old
with The Husband. Getting sick with diabetes or cancer was not in my plans at
all.
I walked out of the doctor’s clinic and straight into a
bathroom stall. That was when the tears fell. The mass was probably nothing, it
was too small anyway. It was also too soon to worry since the results weren’t
in yet.
But it’s also not everyday a doctor tells you that you need to be
tested for cancer. It’s not everyday that you are reminded that you are not
immortal, that you could get sick, you could suffer, you could die. I’m thirty
years old, with a loving family, a phenomenal husband, an amazing career, and
wonderful friends. How could I get sick?
After a good cry, I pulled myself together, and walked back
to my office. It was not even noon yet. I called my BFF while on my way to the
office just to clear my head. I still wasn’t sure what and how to tell The
Husband or my mom. But that was for later.
As soon as I got back to the office, I pushed my health scare
out of my mind and threw myself into my work to distract myself.
When I got out from work, I walked to Don Bosco Church where
I heard mass and prayed the Novena to Our Mother of Perpetual Help. At that
moment I knew that God was speaking to me. That I was not to worry, I got the
news on a Wednesday, Our Lady’s day. The Lord and Mama Mary are with me.
The Husband met me at the church where I broke the news to
him. It took him a few moments to react. For a few seconds he was silent,
thinking. I knew he was carefully masking his feelings, he knew he needed to be
strong for me. Bless his heart, he comforted me, assured me that the tests will
be negative, and that he will be with me whatever happens. He hugged me close
and I felt a lot lot better. I knew that whatever happens, The Husband will be
there for me, good days or bad.
I called Mama that night when Kelvin and I got home from
Makati. I tried to break the news to her nonchalantly, like it wasn’t a big
deal. I didn’t want her to worry. But I guess mothers will always have a
special heightened mother senses. She knew I was worried and scared. She
comforted me and reminded me of the power of God and of prayer. That night Mama
didn’t sleep. She stayed up all night lighting a candle and praying for me.
It was quiet at home that Wednesday night. I was
scheduled to have my blood extracted the next morning. I was instructed to fast for eight hours to prepare for the test. It was also The Husband's birthday the next day. I was excited to plan a surprise birthday dinner for him. It was his first birthday in our home as a married couple and I wanted it to be memorable.
To distract myself, I played League of Legends for hours. I
decided it was no use worrying about tomorrow, I’ll worry about tomorrow when
tomorrow comes.
The next morning, I woke up early to attend a quick meeting with a co-consultant then went straight to Makati Med. I went alone since The Husband had to go to work and it was just blood extraction, nothing important.
Little did I know that for the Fasting Blood Sugar test, the technicians would need to take samples of my blood not once, but three times! At 9:10AM, the Med Tech two vials of blood from my right inner arm, then asked me to drink a small bottle of really really sweet juice. I was then asked to come back after an hour with strict instructions not to eat, drink, or vomit.
I was like, "Vomit?"
After an hour, they took another blood sample, this time from my inner left arm and with a smaller needle. And then I was asked to wait for another hour.
The last one was at 11:10AM after which I was finally allowed to eat and drink. I haven't had anything to eat or drink for 11 hours, except for the bottle of juice they gave me after the first blood extraction.
The technicians told me that the results will be released in 8 hours, and that I could come back after then.
And the waiting began.
I finally got the results and went back to the doctor. Read Part 2 here.
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