My Health Scare Part 1

In 2008 I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovaries Syndrome (PCOS). It’s a condition where a woman’s hormones are out of balance causing irregular menstrual periods. Even when I was younger, I wouldn’t get monthly periods. Over the years, I’d only need sanitary pads about three to four times a year. But this time the intervals were longer. My last period was exactly a year ago. Some years ago, my OB GYN told me that the condition might make conception and pregnancy difficult, but most PCOS cases are manageable and a good percentage of women with PCOS have successfully gotten pregnant and given birth to beautiful babies. Over the years I’ve gone through different medical interventions; I’ve been prescribed, Duphaston, pills, Metphormin, etc. The condition still persists and my doctor said I’d need to go back to her should I decide to have babies because I will need to go through a certain therapy.

Over the past few months, The Husband and I were talking about having babies. We’ve been married for over ten months now and decided this was a good time to have children. Since my OB was in Batangas, I decided to consult an OB GYN here in Manila.

So last Wednesday I walked from my office to Makati Medical Center and booked an appointment with an OB. The OB then asked me questions about my menstrual history, and other usual questions like history of diabetes, cancer, and heart disease in the family. She asked me to go to the ultrasound lab so that we can find out if I still have PCOS. Our initial interaction was brief, no longer than 10 minutes.

10 minutes after the ultrasound, I got the results and went back to the doctor. As I was waiting for my name to be called, I realized that the envelope was open so I decided to take a look at the results.

I was not surprised to see “Bilateral Polycystic Ovaries” on the paper. It was something I’ve known for a long time. My heart stopped when I saw “Consider Ovarian Fibroma, Left” 

What does that mean? 

I whipped out my smartphone and Googled it. The first answer I got was, “The ovarian fibroma, also fibroma, is a benign sex cord-stromal tumour.”

I breathed a little easier as soon as I saw the word “benign”. As I was about to read more articles when I heard my name; it was my turn.

I stepped inside the doctor’s office and sat down.

“Meron ka pa rin polycystic ovaries, both sides. Sa left ovary mo, may nakitang bukol. Ipapa test kita for CA125 at HE4.” You still have polycystic ovaries, both sides. In your left ovary, there’s a solid mass. You need to be tested for CA125 at HE4.

The whole time she said those words, the doctor wasn’t looking at me, she was looking at my test results and then looked down at her paper writing things down. There was an awkward silence. I realized she wasn’t about to explain what the tests were for.

So I asked, “What are those tests for, doc?”

Still while looking down at her notes, she answered, “Titingnan natin kung cancer. Tapos reresetahan kita ng gamot para magka period ka. Inumin mo to for seven days, then dadatnan ka in about two weeks.” We’ll check if it's cancer. Then I’ll prescribe some medication to induce your menstrual flow. Take this for seven days, you should get your period in two weeks.”

There I was, thirty years old, newly married, sitting inside a doctor’s clinic, going in for a routine checkup, expecting the doctor to say I still have Polycystic Ovaries Syndrome, take some medicine, and I’ll be fine. I’ll get pregnant, have babies, and live a long life.

But what I got was, "We'll check if it's cancer." 

Just like that. No warning, no hand on my shoulder, no pause, no eye contact, nothing to soften the blow."

I flinched and then my whole body froze. I am always prepared for every single thing except for that moment.

It was surreal. It was a scene I’ve only seen in movies and TV shows.

I asked the doctor as to what the chances are that the mass was malignant. Her answer was, “I don’t know. The mass is small, about 1.5cm, and your blood needs to be tested first. Usually ovarian masses are fluid filled but yours is solid, so let’s get you tested.”

She also said I needed to be tested for diabetes since it is a common complication of PCOS and diabetes runs in both of my families.

And that was it. My appointment was over. I was to come back as soon as I got the results back.

I stepped outside the clinic not knowing what to do. I was alone. I didn’t ask The Husband to go with me since he was at work and I didn’t know that the day would turn out like it did.

I was so scared. I have my life all planned. Get married, have kids, raise our kids, make a difference in the world, retire and grow old with The Husband. Getting sick with diabetes or cancer was not in my plans at all.

I walked out of the doctor’s clinic and straight into a bathroom stall. That was when the tears fell. The mass was probably nothing, it was too small anyway. It was also too soon to worry since the results weren’t in yet. 

But it’s also not everyday a doctor tells you that you need to be tested for cancer. It’s not everyday that you are reminded that you are not immortal, that you could get sick, you could suffer, you could die. I’m thirty years old, with a loving family, a phenomenal husband, an amazing career, and wonderful friends. How could I get sick?

After a good cry, I pulled myself together, and walked back to my office. It was not even noon yet. I called my BFF while on my way to the office just to clear my head. I still wasn’t sure what and how to tell The Husband or my mom. But that was for later.

As soon as I got back to the office, I pushed my health scare out of my mind and threw myself into my work to distract myself.

When I got out from work, I walked to Don Bosco Church where I heard mass and prayed the Novena to Our Mother of Perpetual Help. At that moment I knew that God was speaking to me. That I was not to worry, I got the news on a Wednesday, Our Lady’s day. The Lord and Mama Mary are with me.

The Husband met me at the church where I broke the news to him. It took him a few moments to react. For a few seconds he was silent, thinking. I knew he was carefully masking his feelings, he knew he needed to be strong for me. Bless his heart, he comforted me, assured me that the tests will be negative, and that he will be with me whatever happens. He hugged me close and I felt a lot lot better. I knew that whatever happens, The Husband will be there for me, good days or bad.

I called Mama that night when Kelvin and I got home from Makati. I tried to break the news to her nonchalantly, like it wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t want her to worry. But I guess mothers will always have a special heightened mother senses. She knew I was worried and scared. She comforted me and reminded me of the power of God and of prayer. That night Mama didn’t sleep. She stayed up all night lighting a candle and praying for me.

It was quiet at home that Wednesday night. I was scheduled to have my blood extracted the next morning. I was instructed to fast for eight hours to prepare for the test. It was also The Husband's birthday the next day. I was excited to plan a surprise birthday dinner for him. It was his first birthday in our home as a married couple and I wanted it to be memorable.  

To distract myself, I played League of Legends for hours. I decided it was no use worrying about tomorrow, I’ll worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes.

The next morning, I woke up early to attend a quick meeting with a co-consultant then went straight to Makati Med. I went alone since The Husband had to go to work and it was just blood extraction, nothing important. 

Little did I know that for the Fasting Blood Sugar test, the technicians would need to take samples of my blood not once, but three times! At 9:10AM, the Med Tech two vials of blood from my right inner arm, then asked me to drink a small bottle of really really sweet juice. I was then asked to come back after an hour with strict instructions not to eat, drink, or vomit.

I was like, "Vomit?"

After an hour, they took another blood sample, this time from my inner left arm and with a smaller needle. And then I was asked to wait for another hour.

The last one was at 11:10AM after which I was finally allowed to eat and drink. I haven't had anything to eat or drink for 11 hours, except for the bottle of juice they gave me after the first blood extraction. 

The technicians told me that the results will be released in 8 hours, and that I could come back after then.

And the waiting began.

I finally got the results and went back to the doctor. Read Part 2 here.

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Wedding Blog: http://www.kelvinandleng2015.blogspot.com/

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Top Six reasons why I love being married

So The Husband and I are two months shy of celebrating our first wedding anniversary, and a number of our friends have asked how married life is and how The Husband and I are adjusting to it. If anything, I’m sure The Husband is enjoying my cooking.

As for me, I’m having the time of my life. I never knew marriage could be so fun and so magical. Had I known I would have asked Kelvin to marry me a long time ago! JK!

Now don’t get me wrong. Marriage isn’t all cupcakes and rainbows. Nah uh! Marriage is hella difficult. But The Husband and I had been dating for almost nine years before we got married so we pretty much knew a lot of things about each other before tying the knot. So when we moved in together as The Husband and The Wife, there wasn’t that much adjusting necessary.

But apart from the few good and not-so-good surprises, our 10-month old marriage has definitely led me to some amazing realizations.

Now I’m not going to list stuff like “Having someone who will love you unconditionally” or some similar crap, because you can have that even when you’re not married. I’m talking about some special privileges I have been entitled to right after I signed our marriage certificate and started living with The Husband.

Here are my TOP SIX REASONS WHY I LOVE BEING MARRIED:

• NUMBER SIX: Not worrying about where to go or hang out on Friday night. As most of my friends know, I’m a hard core extrovert and I love going out with friends, whether I’d be nursing a hot cup of coffee, or a cold bottle of alcohol while chatting and teasing my phenomenal loves. Before getting married, I would always think or plan where I would go, and who I’d hang out with every Friday night. But now that I’m married, I love and look forward to Friday nights because a Friday night means cuddle night in front of the TV, or our friends could come over and hang out at our house!

• NUMBER FIVE: Not being forced to participate in the bouquet toss games for singles ladies at weddings. Ever since the first time I have been pressured into joining that darned game, I’ve dreaded going to weddings. The idea of falling in line and waiting to be “selected” to be the lady who gets felt up before the night is over freaks the hell out of me. But now that I’m married, I am permanently out of the game. Bring out the champagne, folks!

• NUMBER FOUR: Not hearing “When are you getting married?” at social events. I swear my ears were all about to fall off from all of my relatives and friends asking THAT question every time I saw them at a party or an event. Seriously, people, how is a woman supposed to answer that question – especially when she is not engaged, or her boyfriend has not popped the million dollar question yet, or not even in a relationship?! You people need to chill. And there should be a law against asking single people that question.

• NUMBER THREE: Not having to hold, hide, or disguise a fart. Okay, I’m going to be real right here, and probably betray some lady friends. Yes, folks, women fart. We just don’t talk about it, pretend we don’t do it, and we make sure that our farts are released far away from civilization where it can never be heard, or smelled.  For almost nine years, I have managed to not pass wind within at least ten feet of Kelvin – and no, I’m not lying, Kelvin can attest to this. But now that we live, eat, and breathe together under one roof, it seems ridiculous to leave the room for a few seconds just to release gas from one’s bowels. Plus, The Husband does it all the time anyway! I’ve also discovered how amusing a simple odorous gas can emit hilarious reactions from each other. So, bombs away!

• NUMBER TWO: Sex. Now I’m not even going to explain this. Let your imagination run wild, my friend.

• NUMBER ONE: Having someone to cuddle with at night and someone to wake up next to the next morning. Before getting married, I lived alone for almost nine years. I was used to sleeping alone right in the middle of the bed, and waking up to the sound of my blaring alarm. Now that The Husband and I sleep in one bed, his big, warm body next to me is just one of the most amazing feelings in the world. I love it when he traps my whole body close to his using his massive arms and legs. I get cold easily (even in the summer!) and having him next to me is like having my own warm electric blanket. And at night, when we’re not too sleepy, we stay up late just talking about us, our plans, jobs, families, and friends. We’d talk into the wee hours of the night until we eventually fall asleep. And in the morning, I swear, climbing Mt. Everest has got to be easier than leaving the warmth and smell of the bed and The Husband. It is so damn difficult I set at least seven alarms every night before bed! The Husband is a light sleeper and when he feels me get out of bed, he reaches out (without opening his eyes) and yanks me back onto the bed pulling me to his chest. Now tell me. How on this God’s green earth am I supposed to leave the bed?!

Now I’m gonna say it again: Had I known marriage would be this incredible I would have asked Kelvin to marry me a long time ago! Haha!

How about you? What do you love about being married?

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Wedding Blog: http://www.kelvinandleng2015.blogspot.com/

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August 2013: The Failed Proposal because of a bratty Bride-to-Be

Did you know that Kelvin's Christmas proposal was not his first proposal? So here's the story...

My then boyfriend, Kelvin and I decided to go on an out of town trip for the first time. We started dating in 2006 pero hindi pa talaga kami nakaka pag out of town na malayo. Hindi kasi mahilig magbyahe si Kelvin kaya whenever we go out of town, lagi lang kami nagpupunta sa Batangas or Cavite. The fathest we've gone was Pamapanga for a family reunion, but apart from that, we haven't really gone anywhere far. 

But in January 2013, I finally convinced Kelvin to go on a trip with two other couples. The moment he said yes, I grabbed the opportunity and booked us a round trip ticket to Legazpi, Albay!

You see, this is a really big deal for me kasi I've never been on a plane before and we've never been on a trip this far before.

Before boarding the plane

Ready for takeoff!

Little did I know that Kelvin was planning to propose to me na pala on our Legazpi trip. He wanted to buy a ring in Legazpi but our friends convinced him not to buy a ring there. Unfortunately, we were already in Albay so he failed to get a ring.

We've arrived!

On the second day of our trip, our group went to Cagsaua ruins, took an ATV adventure trip, visited Lignon Hill, and ate at Mr. Crab.

Phenomenal adventure!

ATV!

At Lignon Hill

It was a wonderful day! However, right in the middle of our meal, tumawag ang boss ni Kelvin, and after the phone call, Kelvin began stressing and ranting about work. When we got back to the hotel, he started working on his computer, which he already did the night before when we arrived. 

At Mr. Crabs

I felt so frustrated. It took us six months to prepare for this trip and I was soo excited for our adventures but there he was stressing about work and he brought along his laptop with him!

We eventually fought about it, and our fight got so bad I decided to leave the hotel and tried to go back to Manila. Our friends eventually convinced me to go back to the hotel. I then hung around with my girls at the pool while Kelvin was with the boys. 

With my girls

Our friends Jo, Em, Joma, and Joyce

After a few minutes, Kelvin arrived and our friends left us alone. 

After a long talk about work and priorities, we finally made up. I was able to make him realize that I really admire his dedication to work but he also needed to find the right balance between work and personal life. Pag quality time, dapat kami lang talaga and no work.

After a few minutes, Kelvin took my hand, and then humarap kami sa pool na may view ng Mayon Volcano. 

He then held my hands and started to say his speech. I knew right at that moment that he was about to go on one knee and was about to propose. I knew he didn't have a ring because the only thing he was wearing was his swimming shorts.

And because (almost!) every woman's dream was to be proposed to on one knee with a sparkling diamond ring, I decided na basagin ang trip nya.

As he was about to kneel, I held up one hand and said, "Honey, if you are about to propose and you do not have a ring with you, please do not propose yet."

Haha!

Nagtampo sya ng konti pero he just hugged me and kissed me on the forehead. Hindi sya makapag reklamo, we just made up e!

Here we are the day after!

He eventually was able to successfully propose to me four months after our trip. He surprised me at home with a sparkling, beautiful, diamond ring. And I said yes. Check out his surprise proposal here!

 We've been married for more than six months now. :)

What about you? Do you know of any failed proposal stories?

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Wedding Blog: http://www.kelvinandleng2015.blogspot.com/

My life's blog: http://www.sentimentsofleng.blogspot.com/

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My first Christmas as a Tan

For almost thirty years I have spent Christmas Eve at home with my parents. We’d wake up at around 5 in the morning every 24^th of December, go to the market and grocery store, and Ma and I would be cooking all day until close to midnight. As Mama and I would cook, Ate would be washing the dishes, pots, and pans; while Daddy and Kuya would be busy setting up the grill. Mama and I would finish cooking a few hours before midnight. And at the stroke of midnight on Christmas Eve, we would all gather at the dining table and share a Christmas meal followed by opening of the gifts. And on Christmas morning, we’d hear mass and then celebrate the whole day with the Laminero clan.

Christmas 2015 was a little different. Kelvin and I got married almost 7 months ago and this is our first Christmas as husband and wife. I was able to convince Kelvin that we celebrate Christmas at his parents’ home, and the New Year’s at mine.

So last Thursday, we went to Paco, Manila to celebrate Christmas with the Tans. Hon and I decided to have lunch first at Max’s then buy gifts for Sophie’ our niece, and Kelvin’s parents. After shopping, we then went to my in-laws’ house. By the time we arrived, Mama Kila had cooked a LOT of dishes all by herself. We gave Sophie her gift; I played with Sophie for a bit, and then joined Kelvin for a nap. Jami woke us up at 6PM so that we could prepare to go to the church.

Sophie and Big B!

In the Tan household, I realized that they hear mass on the 24^th instead of the 25^th; which is just fine. I realized it’d be difficult to hear mass on Christmas morning; waking Kelvin up at 6AM would be a big mistake. Haha!

I was very excited to hear mass and celebrate Christmas with my new family. When Kelvin and I got married, I was excited that I was gaining a new family, in addition to my existing phenomenal family.

So we then all got inside the car and off to the church we went.

A few minutes inside the car and suddenly, out of nowhere, I felt an odd feeling, like things were different; I felt weird, and alone. I was seated between Jami, Sophie, and Mama Kila, and Kelvin was sitting behind me. Don’t get me wrong. I love my new family. For the past nine years, I have never been treated differently by the Tans, and I’ve always felt like I was – and still am, a part of the family. They have cared for me just like a real family. But for just a few seconds, things felt different. I felt lonely. For the past thirty years, I spent every 24^th of December with my mom, dad, and siblings, cooking up a storm and trying to beat the clock. But on that night it was different. I was in a car without my mother, my father, my nephew, and my siblings. I held back my tears as I said to myself, I’m with Kelvin now; he is my family now. And I am with family too; the Tans are also my family now so I shouldn’t be sad. Plus I’ll see Mama and Daddy tomorrow; and we’ll celebrate New Year’s Eve in Batangas.

After a few minutes we then arrived at the church and we sat down on the last row of seats. Since the mass hadn’t started yet, Papa invited us to take family pictures. I love pictures! Especially ones of families! After the pictures were taken, we all sat down and waited for the mass to start. As I was looking around and staring at the images of the saints inside the church, Kelvin leaned down and whispered in my ear, “Ay, iiyak nay an at name-miss ang Mama nya.” Aww, someone’s missing her Mama and is about to cry.

And that’s when the waterworks started.

I was trying to put on a brave face, a happy face. But I couldn’t hide my missing my Mama and Daddy. I just missed them so much.

Honey laughed out loud, and hugged me tight. This husband of mine just loves seeing me cry and pine for my Mama! 

Kelvin making fun of me!

Jami and Baby Sophie saw me silently crying and provided my much needed distraction.

Peace!

After the mass, we went back home and feasted on the terrific dinner that Mama Kila had prepared for us. Man, did we leave that table with our tummies bursting with delectable food!

We then moved to the living room to open our presents. And boy, we got a lot of them! We got gifts from Mama and Papa, Jami, Jace, Sophie, Atchee Mampi, and Tita Ning. Thank you so much!

One of Sophie’s presents was blowing bubbles, and she was ecstatic! Here’s a video of her delightedly chasing the elusive bubbles!

After opening the gifts, we then retired to our bedrooms to rest for the night.

As for Kelvin and me, we went inside the bedroom, were we had a private celebration of our first Christmas as The Husband and The Wife. 

Kelvin played his guitar and sang for me! 

We sang together for a few minutes and then Hon took to our laptop and played a computer game (once a game, always a gamer!) I waited for midnight to strike so I could call my mom.    

At the stroke of midnight, I received a text message from Mama greeting me a Merry Christmas.

I called Mama up and the moment she answered the phone, I heard her sniffing. She wished me a Merry Christmas and told me she was missing me. I consoled her and asked to stop crying as I would be seeing her the next day. She then passed the phone to Daddy so I could also greet him.

As soon as I got to talk to Daddy, I asked him if he was missing me. He answered with, “Syempre miss. Wala ka dito e. Wala na nga Ate mo, wala ka pa. First time e.”

That was when I lost it again. Silent tears ran down my cheeks. It was the first time my father ever said he missed me. You see, my father is a quiet man. He rarely speaks and usually speaks only when spoken to. It is rare for him to verbalize any emotion and would just usually smile or frown to convey his reactions to situations. But on that Christmas Eve, my father said they were missing me.

I hung up the phone with a heart full of different emotions. I was tearful because I was missing my parents, my brother, sister, and nephew. I was anxious as an annual tradition has been broken. But at the same time, I felt joy as I celebrated my first Christmas with The Husband, and my new family. I was happy to spend a lot of time with my in laws and celebrate Christmas with them. Next to my immediate family, there is no one else I would want to celebrate Christmas with.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

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Wedding Blog: http://www.kelvinandleng2015.blogspot.com/

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Our Wedding Day Part 3: The Ceremony: Love Lasting Forever and Sex in the Animal Kingdom

On my last blog, I wrote about the thoughts running through my head as I was walking down the aisle to my groom.

On this blog I would like to share with you the main highlight of the wedding ceremony. In most wedding ceremonies the highlight is the exchange of vows. That moment when the bride and the groom vow to each other, “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part…”

No, that was not the highlight of our wedding ceremony. The highlight was our priest - at least his homily.

Now don’t get me wrong, the whole ceremony was wonderful. But like all brides say, the whole ceremony really will go by sooo fast the next thing you, know, the ceremony is over!! And that’s the exact same thing that happened to ours. The whole thing went by so fast, I was excitedly looking forward from one part of the ceremony to another that before I realized it the whole ceremony was done and the photographers were asking us to pose for pictures.

Our exchange of vows was sweet, but sadly unremarkable. In the movies, the couple recites the vows while looking at each other with so much love in their eyes. That wasn’t it at all for Kelvin and me. We were simply following the priest’s instructions and just read the vows from the small booklet we didn’t have to time to look into each other’s eyes. Looking back at our ceremony, I wish we had said our vows slower, giving us time to really digest what we were saying to each other. But all in all, the vows were sweet, traditional, and romantic.

But like what I said, the vows weren’t really the highlight of our ceremony. The real deal was the priest’s homily.

Why, you ask? You can ask all of our guests and they can surely tell you why. In fact, one of our guests even posted about it.

What was the priest's homily about?

Ladies and gentlemen, the priest talked about animals of the same gender having sex on the streets.

Yes, folks, you read that right. He asked us if we have ever seen two male dogs having sex on the streets.

You see, we soon found out that the good father was massively anti same-sex marriage and anti-divorce. And he clearly expressed his dismay during our wedding ceremony.

He first asked Kelvin if he was a man and he then asked me if I was a woman. He then spoke vehemently about us fighting for man-and-woman marriage, and that divorce isn’t legal on the Philippines.

He also said that humans are worse than animals. Inside a church filled with, well humans!

He asked everyone, “Can you imagine a dog in the streets; a dog, male and male doing sex at the same time? No you can’t do that! Or a cat! So Kelvin and Ellaine, you should fight for that institution, marriage!”

He also talked about marriage binding a man and woman forever. At one point he told Kelvin, “You cannot return Ellaine to her family, or you cannot even exchange for another woman. And this will last forever and ever!”

Now this one I totally agree with! Haha!

Our brilliant video team of course captured the incredible homily. Here it is for your viewing pleasure!

Some of our friends asked us as to what was going through our minds during the homily. Looking back I remember Kelvin and I holding hands so tight I thought our bones would break. Kelvin was stroking my hands trying to soothe me, he was probably afraid I would freak out or something.

Personally I had mixed feelings. First, I couldn’t believe that the priest was talking about gay marriage and divorce when Kelvin and I are not gay and we’re not getting a divorce. In fact, we were doing the exact opposite! We certainly cringed when the priest mentioned the cats and dogs of the same gender having sex on the streets.

Second, I felt awkward a little embarrassed because a good number of our guests (and suppliers!) were gay! It was so awkward I couldn’t look around to check how they were reacting.

And third, I finally felt relief when father finally talked about us and stressed on the importance of marriage and not separating or having a divorce.

Was I upset? No I was not. I thought I was going to be. But I wasn’t; not even at that moment. I was shocked, I felt awkward, and a bit embarrassed; but I was not upset. I realized I was feeling so much love from Kelvin, from our families and our guests I had no room for anything else. I was too happy to feel anything else.

And now I ask myself, had I known would I change anything? Hmm I probably would. But then again, if anything, his homily made our wedding ceremony all the more memorable. Something Kelvin and I would talk about for years and years to come.  

Note: The priest wasn’t the original priest who was supposed to marry us. The parish priest of the Air Base who was supposed to marry Kelvin and me was called away by the base commander on our wedding day so he had to find a replacement.

#KelandLeng2015

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Wedding Blog: http://www.kelvinandleng2015.blogspot.com/

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What's in a name?

Last week Kelvin took me to the gym and he signed me up as his guest. As a guest I had to write down my name in the log sheet. I wrote down my first name, and then last name. I guess out of habit, I started writing the letter V, and was about to spell out the rest of my maiden name when I stopped abruptly and saw Kelvin looking at the log sheet, smiling. Oops! I guess I forgot I have a new name now. Teehee!

Recently some friends have asked me if I have legally changed my name or when I am going to change my Facebook name from “Elliane Varias” to “Elliane Tan”. As I sit down in front of my laptop about to change my name, I didn’t realize how difficult it would be for me to change my name – even just on Facebook.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my new last name. My name is a symbol of me being married to my incredible Kelvin; that I am his forever, and that we’re building our family as one, forever. I just love it. I dreamed of marrying him and taking his name. Even before we were married in our first few years together, I would imagine using his name.

I guess what I’m saying is because the name “Elliane Laminero Varias” has been my name for the past thirty years, it is pretty difficult to let go. I guess the thought of relinquishing my name would profoundly affect how I think about my own identity.

I never realized how important my name was to me until now. You see, my name has a lot of history in it. Lamineros originated from the Visayas, specifically from Romblon, and Iloilo. My grandfather travelled to Lipa, Batangas to become a soldier, where he met my grandmother. My granddad was considered one of the brightest in the Philippine Air Force during his time. My mother is an intelligent woman, who bested her peers when she was young. She wanted to be a nurse but had to let go of her dream after her father’s demise when she was twelve. The Lamaneros in Iloilo are of great mind and educators, with a lot of my relatives being teachers and educators, including me, who happens to be a trainer.

The Varias is also a known name especially in Alfonso, Cavite. Growing up I was surprised that a lot – and I mean A LOT of people were named Varias in Alfonso. Even the mayor is a Varias – Mayor Virgilio Varias, my father’s distant cousin and also the Principal Sponsor at our wedding. You will also find the word Varias in Pedro Paterno’s book called “Sampaguitas y otras poesías varias” – the first book of poetry published by a Filipino in Europe; it means plenty or multiple. 

My father was awarded as the rifle sharpshooter when he was still active in the Philippine Air Force, and received numerous awards in the Intelligence Division of the PAF.

I have always taken pride in the fact that I am a Laminero-Varias. My name links me to my family, and my relatives, and my history as a person. My name is my identity, and it defines me as a person. All of my achievements and accomplishments in the last thirty years have been tagged to my name. No, I am not famous. I just take pride in my name.

But today I have decided to fully take my husband’s name. Because that is who I am now. I belong to him. I am my husband’s wife, and the mother of our future children. My husband and I are now one, therefore I choose to take his name. I choose to honor him and our family. My name may help define who I am, but I am still me even with a new name. My heritage and my history still stand. I am still my parents' daughter, and I am still a product of my history.

Our name is what binds us as a family; it is what makes us one. Like what the Bible says in Matthew 19:2-9: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh."

I am Elliane Tan.

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Hit me up!

Wedding Blog: http://www.kelvinandleng2015.blogspot.com/

My life's blog: http://www.sentimentsofleng.blogspot.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elliane.varias