The Adventures of an Interviewer

“Tell me about yourself.”

Here is a statement that I have repeated numerously these past few months.

Since late last year, I have been screening applicants for one of the accounts in the company that I’m working in. I’ve got to say that an interviewer’s job is freaking arduous!!!

But an interviewer’s job is kind of hilarious too! You see nervous applicants, interviewees who stumble into the interview rooms, applicants whose hands are trembling so much they literally drop everything, and interviewees sweating bullets while waiting for their turn.

But what takes the cake are the actual interviews where you hear the most sidesplitting answers from applicants.

Here are my Top 10 answers.

Please note that most of the answers came from the applicants that I have interviewed and one came from a friend who has had her share of amusing interviews.

I

Interviewer:       What do you do for fun?

Applicant:            Oh, you know. I like hanging friends.

(I felt like running after hearing this.)

II

Interviewer:       What do you do for fun?

Applicant:            I like playing with my kids and sleeping with them.

(Should I alert the authorities?)

III

Interviewer:       What do you consider as your biggest weakness?

Applicant:            Sometimes I overdue myself.

(Not even sure what this meant.)

IV

Interviewer:       What do you usually do when you encounter conflicts with other people?

Applicant:            I’m calm down.

(Can’t it be up?)

V

Interviewer:       What are your strengths that you can contribute to this company?

Applicant:            I’m an easy learner; I learn easily.

VI

Interviewer:       Tell me about yourself.

Applicant:            I live with my father. I don’t live with my mother. I grew up without sawing her face.

(I think I just spoke to another murderer.)

VII

Interviewer:       What are your strengths that you can contribute to this company?

Applicant:            I can do a lot of things at the same time.  That’s how multi-tasking I am.

(Right, you are.)

VIII

Interviewer:       Hello, I’ll be you interviewer for today; I’ll be asking you some questions about yourself.

Applicant:            (Nervously) Ma’am, please don’t make me hard.

(Thankfully, I was not the interviewer. I would have run for the hills.)

IX

Interviewer:       What brings you to Manila?

Applicant:            I can’t able to have a job in Leyte.

(I wonder why.)

X

Interviewer:       Please tell me about yourself.

Applicant:            I’m lived in with my husband; we’re not married.

(No, we most definitely are not.)

Hilarious, eh?

Care to share your adventures at work?