[An Old Post] Tito Poly

Hello, friends. I came across an old Facebook note that I wrote in 2010. This was a few months after our family lost a dear uncle. Read on, friends.

Tito Poly, you are still missed.

From left: Lau, Tita Gi, Lola Mila, Mama, Ate Ye, Daddy, Ate Kaye, Ate Merz, and Tito Poly

December 14, 2010:

"More than thirty years ago, before my aunt reached her twentieth year, she married a quiet but impressive soldier. This man became a loving husband to my aunt, a firm but loving father to my cousins, the trusted son that my grandmother had always wanted, and a brother/father to my mother and her sisters.

 Two years ago, Tito suddenly fell ill. We were stunned and saddened to find out that Tito was suffering from a heart condition - a condition that was made worse by his congenital heart disease that was not detected until recently. His condition rapidly deteriorated until that fateful day in July 2010. His wife found him unconscious on their bed and she immediately called the hospital. He was then admitted into the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) where he fell into a coma and could not talk nor respond. No one could get to him; he couldn't talk to us, and we didn't even know if he heard us at all. Everyone was at a loss. We waited for days; we were allowed to visit him only twice a day, an hour each time. Every time we visited him, we had to wear surgical shoes and gowns. We talked to him as often as we could; as often as the nurses and doctors would allow us. We told him how much we loved him, and that we missed him.

 But we finally had to let him go. The entire family was enveloped in grief. All of us had questions running through our minds. Numerous questions but answers proved to be elusive. How could someone so strong, so brave, so dependable, so invincible succumb to an illness?

 I have always seen him as a strong, silent man. Just like my own father, he was a man of few words; but when he spoke, everyone listened. But now that's he's gone, how will our family move on? He was not just a husband to his wife or just a father to his kids. He was a son to my grandmother whom he gladly took under his wing. He was a brother and a father to my mother and her sisters who lost their father when they were young.

How do you say goodbye to a husband who stood by you for more than three decades? How do you say goodbye to a father who was quiet but always ready to listen, support, teach and help you? How do you say goodbye to the man who became the brother you never had?

Until this day, those questions still have not been answered. It has been five months since that traumatic day and everyone is still trying to move on; like little babies trying to walk without the help of guiding hands...Sometimes I find myself looking for him whenever I visit their place. And after a few seconds, I silently remind myself that he is gone. I could just imagine how hard it must be for his children. And I can only pray that Tito is now with Him, smiling down upon us. He is now in a better place; a place without needles, without pain, without tears. But we still can't help but think about him.

We miss you, Tito.

P.S.:
Tito, Lola is sick and is in the ICU. The nurses won't let us in and she is really scared. Will you watch over her? Tell her we are all outside waiting for her..."