Sunday, January 3, 2016

My first Christmas as a Tan

For almost thirty years I have spent Christmas Eve at home with my parents. We’d wake up at around 5 in the morning every 24th of December, go to the market and grocery store, and Ma and I would be cooking all day until close to midnight. As Mama and I would cook, Ate would be washing the dishes, pots, and pans; while Daddy and Kuya would be busy setting up the grill. Mama and I would finish cooking a few hours before midnight. And at the stroke of midnight on Christmas Eve, we would all gather at the dining table and share a Christmas meal followed by opening of the gifts. And on Christmas morning, we’d hear mass and then celebrate the whole day with the Laminero clan.

Christmas 2015 was a little different. Kelvin and I got married almost 7 months ago and this is our first Christmas as husband and wife. I was able to convince Kelvin that we celebrate Christmas at his parents’ home, and the New Year’s at mine.

So last Thursday, we went to Paco, Manila to celebrate Christmas with the Tans. Hon and I decided to have lunch first at Max’s then buy gifts for Sophie’ our niece, and Kelvin’s parents. After shopping, we then went to my in-laws’ house. By the time we arrived, Mama Kila had cooked a LOT of dishes all by herself. We gave Sophie her gift; I played with Sophie for a bit, and then joined Kelvin for a nap. Jami woke us up at 6PM so that we could prepare to go to the church.

Sophie and Big B!

In the Tan household, I realized that they hear mass on the 24th instead of the 25th; which is just fine. I realized it’d be difficult to hear mass on Christmas morning; waking Kelvin up at 6AM would be a big mistake. Haha!

I was very excited to hear mass and celebrate Christmas with my new family. When Kelvin and I got married, I was excited that I was gaining a new family, in addition to my existing phenomenal family.
So we then all got inside the car and off to the church we went.

A few minutes inside the car and suddenly, out of nowhere, I felt an odd feeling, like things were different; I felt weird, and alone. I was seated between Jami, Sophie, and Mama Kila, and Kelvin was sitting behind me. Don’t get me wrong. I love my new family. For the past nine years, I have never been treated differently by the Tans, and I’ve always felt like I was – and still am, a part of the family. They have cared for me just like a real family. But for just a few seconds, things felt different. I felt lonely. For the past thirty years, I spent every 24th of December with my mom, dad, and siblings, cooking up a storm and trying to beat the clock. But on that night it was different. I was in a car without my mother, my father, my nephew, and my siblings. I held back my tears as I said to myself, I’m with Kelvin now; he is my family now. And I am with family too; the Tans are also my family now so I shouldn’t be sad. Plus I’ll see Mama and Daddy tomorrow; and we’ll celebrate New Year’s Eve in Batangas.

After a few minutes we then arrived at the church and we sat down on the last row of seats. Since the mass hadn’t started yet, Papa invited us to take family pictures. I love pictures! Especially ones of families! After the pictures were taken, we all sat down and waited for the mass to start. As I was looking around and staring at the images of the saints inside the church, Kelvin leaned down and whispered in my ear, “Ay, iiyak nay an at name-miss ang Mama nya.” Aww, someone’s missing her Mama and is about to cry.
And that’s when the waterworks started.

I was trying to put on a brave face, a happy face. But I couldn’t hide my missing my Mama and Daddy. I just missed them so much.

Honey laughed out loud, and hugged me tight. This husband of mine just loves seeing me cry and pine for my Mama! 
Kelvin making fun of me!

 Jami and Baby Sophie saw me silently crying and provided my much needed distraction.
Peace!

After the mass, we went back home and feasted on the terrific dinner that Mama Kila had prepared for us. Man, did we leave that table with our tummies bursting with delectable food!

We then moved to the living room to open our presents. And boy, we got a lot of them! We got gifts from Mama and Papa, Jami, Jace, Sophie, Atchee Mampi, and Tita Ning. Thank you so much!








One of Sophie’s presents was blowing bubbles, and she was ecstatic! Here’s a video of her delightedly chasing the elusive bubbles!

After opening the gifts, we then retired to our bedrooms to rest for the night.

As for Kelvin and me, we went inside the bedroom, were we had a private celebration of our first Christmas as The Husband and The Wife. 

Kelvin played his guitar and sang for me! 


We sang together for a few minutes and then Hon took to our laptop and played a computer game (once a game, always a gamer!) I waited for midnight to strike so I could call my mom.    

At the stroke of midnight, I received a text message from Mama greeting me a Merry Christmas.

I called Mama up and the moment she answered the phone, I heard her sniffing. She wished me a Merry Christmas and told me she was missing me. I consoled her and asked to stop crying as I would be seeing her the next day. She then passed the phone to Daddy so I could also greet him.

As soon as I got to talk to Daddy, I asked him if he was missing me. He answered with, “Syempre miss. Wala ka dito e. Wala na nga Ate mo, wala ka pa. First time e.”

That was when I lost it again. Silent tears ran down my cheeks. It was the first time my father ever said he missed me. You see, my father is a quiet man. He rarely speaks and usually speaks only when spoken to. It is rare for him to verbalize any emotion and would just usually smile or frown to convey his reactions to situations. But on that Christmas Eve, my father said they were missing me.

I hung up the phone with a heart full of different emotions. I was tearful because I was missing my parents, my brother, sister, and nephew. I was anxious as an annual tradition has been broken. But at the same time, I felt joy as I celebrated my first Christmas with The Husband, and my new family. I was happy to spend a lot of time with my in laws and celebrate Christmas with them. Next to my immediate family, there is no one else I would want to celebrate Christmas with.

Merry Christmas, everyone!


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