So
here’s an extension of my previous blog entitled “Questions you should never ask a childless married couple.” You may
read that other blog by clicking on this link.
Now
what is worse from those rude and insensitive questions are even ruder (yes,
ruder is a word, I just looked it up) and more insensitive remarks from friends,
co-workers, relatives, or meddling neighbours. Here are some of the most
ridiculous things childless women and men have heard:
- Sayang ang lahi mo!
- Sayang ang matris mo!
- Ako naka-tatlo na!
- Having children is hard work anyway.
- Just relax. You’ll get pregnant before you know it. Let it happen.
- Ang tagal naman!
- Mag anak na kayo, hindi kayo bumabata.
- You’re so lucky you get to sleep in/shop/travel.
- It will happen when you stop trying.
- You’re still young. Don’t worry too much!
- You’re lucky you don’t have to deal with morning sickness or labor.
- You better start having kids or else you might be shooting blanks!
- Now that I have children, my life has true meaning!
- You’re missing out on one of the best things in life.
- Tick tock.
- You’d better hurry up and give your husband a child before he finds someone who will.
- Have a child so that someone will look after you when you’re old.
- I only have three kids.
- You can be a mother/father to your nieces/nephews.
People, none – and I absolutely mean NONE – of these remarks are acceptable. Whether you are a friend, a BFF, or a well meaning relative. These statements are incredibly insensitive, hurtful, and not in the least funny or helpful.
So
here’s my tip for you if you are curious about your childless friend’s/cousin’s/co-worker’s
plans: Do not ask or say anything unless they open up to you.
Topics
such as conception, pregnancy, and miscarriage are not only uncomfortable to
talk about but extremely painful and emotionally draining when talked about. Do
you really want them to say “I’m having trouble having kids” or “I can’t get
pregnant” or "We don't want kids yet" or “I’m sterile” or “We had a miscarriage”? And in the event they
answer you with these, how would you answer them? Nothing – and I mean nothing –
that you say can make them feel better.
So
unless the next words that will come right out your mouth will result to
conception, pregnancy, babies, a lap dance from Channing Tatum, a billion dollars, or the answer
to world peace and hunger, you better keep your questions and comments to
yourself.
Their
bodies and their plans are their business, not yours. So back the hell off.
I
swear the next time anyone asks or says anything remotely close to any of the
questions and remarks on the lists, I will stare at them, say nothing, and give
them a big slow clap. Then walk away.
What
about you? Do you have anything to add to this list?
_________________________________
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